Annabel Smith
![Defective](https://images.prismic.io/thecircular/a81f1aac-fcc8-4b26-9e5f-2b5b19a67244_Annabel-Smith-300x300.jpeg?ixlib=gatsbyFP&auto=compress%2Cformat&fit=max&q=50&w=300&h=300)
Defective
Was he failing the test? Was I failing the test? At the second session he spoke to her about 'fightin feelins', but also, thank god, about 'jokin feelins'. She said he was a happy, healthy, developmentally normal child.
Some years later, when he was seven or eight years old, I discovered a note on his desk, on a scrap of paper, in his childish handwriting: I hate myself – I never get surprise playdates – I’m always ashamed – that’s all.
Note: Annabel Smith’s reflection on writing this essay, 'Reflective | Defective', is the perfect complementary read.